31 October 2006

The Rest Of October

And how it went--

"Gusto ko, kapag kinuwento ko sa iyo, kuwento na lang siya."


Before, I benefit from/in thought that trust is a singular affair.
Now, the lesson is to trust in trusting people.

The point where both our facts meet, that they fit, is truth.


This must be friendship when the silence and distance you communicate
elicit not coldness.


Commitment to the moment may be the closest I can get to forever. But
let me spare the details as I often have. I cannot yet betray my
self, the person, the story.

20 October 2006

Half Of October

And where it went, I refuse to accept.

Probably because what went with time, I know I cannot retrieve, exactly as time.

Or I cannot hurry whatever I assume, pray will still return.


Given our changes are still us, where are those who've changed with
us?, through us?


Amazing how time passes swiftly along with waiting. And hurt does not
hurt enough.

Yet almost crazily I obsess with beginnings and endings, like my
sanity relies solely as to where I place my self in the spectrum.


What I give may be mine--what of those I'm not willing to let go of?

The giving game is fun only when someone's needing.


Half of October is spent in doubting and hanging on to whatever's left
to hold on to: dreams, deceit; what's left of good intentions;
figuring the extent of things I could do and the extent of what I
could forgive, thus accept.

I measure my days with how much I manage to live without: messages
and a plea for a call, the desire to send messages and call.

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