Poetry prompt: Write in another's rhymes

Jack Tells Jill

Kill your thoughts up the hill,
see the empty skies, saltwater.
Drown in rapture at the crown,
sing new songs of ever-after.

Upbeat air inspires a trot,
tempts you to a flirty caper.
Bedtime? It's out of your head,
now as pure as blank paper.

—RE, 13 August 2023

This week's poetry prompt: Rather obvious? It's fun, though. To take the rhymes off a popular poem and then use them to create a different poem. Give it a go.

Draft 2 (5 October 2023)

Well it's been a while. The main prompt was a quick exercise on replacing rhyming words. For the revision, my goal was to create something a bit more conrete. Add sense to the sound. Also, I got rid of the lines I hated ("drown in rapture" ; "sing new songs of ever-after" ; "as pure as blank paper") but used just to meet the requirements and deadline.

Jack Tells Jill

Kill those doubts up the hill,
see the empty skies, saltwater.
Winds will push you down,
     Push back till you reach the crown,
Crack a world open with laughter.

Should those sunburnt legs fail to trot
And fumble like your brother's,
Lie a while on the green land
     As if it were last night's bed.
Rise up with fellow dreamers.

—RE October 2023