16 February 2022

Tell me you're a narcissist

Recent events have compelled me to take a deeper, if not longer look into my relationships, which almost always mean confronting myself.

I've always had an inkling that I'm a narcissist, I just don't know what kind, to what extent, and how I've turned into one. I tick the grandiosity box. I believe I am empathetic but now I doubt if I truly understand the word. No way I am insecure — or am I?

Thinking led to googling, redditing, more thinking, more clicking link after link that eventually led to this video series.

There's my answer. Neglectful Narcissist.


Something doesn't sit well with me while watching the videos, despite the speaker being all credible: The whole assumption that the audience is the victim. I read the comments and everyone is like, That's my mother, father, wife, husband, et cetera. In my head I reply, You sure you aren't one yourself?

Am I what you guys call projecting? Confident that the next person is the same as me? Perhaps there are genuinely good people out there, only I couldn't see them with my blinders.


Edited to add:

Videos in the channel contain a disclaimer wherein it is noted that the information shared are solely for educational purposes and must not be taken as substitute for clinical care. Rest assured that I am aware of that when writing this blog and in moving forward.

14 February 2022

Poem 2, 2022


Wrist cheek lips and that
pearl at rest a heaving chest above
the heart a head crowned
with black braid and down

the dress flows like blue ternate
a leg shows a quick shine
then thighs veined
a polished toe a sway

of the hips the arms
hint of perfume small
as a whisper she enters
the onlooker's dream.

—Razel Estrella

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